Much needed grace

 Getting E to go back to school has not been easy. The first 2 mornings involved much tears and struggles. Just to get him out of bed and to school drains me of every ounce of energy. However, that's not the end. Getting home after school is when the real pain begins. Crying and wanting to be carried all the way up from the carpark to the home, and then to lunch. At 3.5 years old, i can't carry him like i used to. He would protest all the way - changing out to home clothes, taking a wee, washing his hands and sitting down to eat. It got particularly bad on tuesday- we had this crazy yelling match. It was the first day of my period, to top it all off. It went on for 20 mins and took 5 buttock smackers to conclude. Pure madness. When he finally recovered, I was angry, yet guilty and sorry at the same time. That clash of self-righteousness and unworthiness...

I started reading this book by Paul David Tripp on "Parenting: 14 gospel principles". I think it's an understatement to say that i need it. Anyhow, i found encouragement within the first few chapters to share. I do believe that God uses marriage and parenting to reveal our hearts to us. The challenges of the last 1 year have shown me that. The good news is that "If you read your Bible carefully, you will understand that God doesn't call able people to do important things. Abraham wasn't able. Moses wasn't able. Gideon wasn't able. David wasn't able." "It (the Bible) is the story of how God meets weak and failing people with His powerful grace." (Quotes taken from the book)

Thankful for His grace, for second chances, and that God would not have engaged in a yelling match like i did (even if i deserved worse than that)...