It's been busy with the end of the posting drawing nearer. Didn't even realize it's been more than a month since i last posted. M has been trying to clear leave so we had some family time together and it was nice. We have also been hanging out with more kids from school, weather permitting.
For myself, it's been challenging having to die to self and lose control. When things haven't gone the way they were planned and it's been constant disappointment after disappointment. Yet, this is the lesson the Lord has been constantly bringing before me- surrender. Letting go of my wants/desires/my ideas of perfection and letting Him have His way. There are so many ingrained ideas that needs to be stripped away. It's been painful and so much tears month after month, even after i thought i've let them go, only to find them resurfacing. Yet, each time, after a good cry, He's there for me. Like a good parent who withholds certain things, I am challenged to trust that He knows best. Psalm 46:10 "Cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." So many things we won't be able to know on this side of life, but i pray for faith and obedience to follow as He leads.
Amidst my heartbreak, I am thankful for many things. That both M and I can attend the marriage and parenting course set up by our church in France. It's been wonderful journeying with the other couples/parents and so timely too (before we leave). For E, who's growing up too fast. He picked a bunch of wildflowers for me on Saturday and it absolutely melted my heart. 💓 These little glimpses of God's love and care are really helping me walk on in the rain. I need to grow a heart of contentment. Forgive me, Lord.
No comments:
Post a Comment