Waiting...

It's hard to be waiting. With no confirmed dates, we cannot plan anything. It seems so frustrating... M and I were sharing our lessons on 1 Samuel. David had been anointed as next king. However, Saul was not dead yet. While David was on the run from Saul, who was pursuing him out of jealousy, he was presented with 2 opportunities to kill Saul and then ascend the throne. But twice, he chose not to kill the Lord's anointed. He would rather be on the run and wait for God to deal with Saul Himself. This patience and waiting on the Lord- I need to learn that! The Lord will deal with our matters.

Mother's Day...

Over this weekend as we celebrate and give thanks for mummies, I felt ashamed as I sat in church and this thought came to me. This is my 3rd mother's day, and I was expecting to have some flowers or token of appreciation from M (of course right, since E is only 2, I cannot expect anything from him). I had this same feeling last year and the year before. When nothing came, I was a little unhappy- I felt unappreciated and undermined. I realised that I often have this thought too when I think about me giving up my career to be a homemaker in Geneva. Does M think it is easy to be a stay home mom? Does he not realise that I'm the one with the short end of the stick?? In the midst of my self pity, my self righteous thoughts, another thought came... But M is shouldering most of the responsibilities of ensuring we will have enough to eat, wear and live. He will be the sole breadwinner. My job as a stay home mom will be predictable, but he will face uncertainties in this new job. Yes, being a mom is not easy, but right now, M's contribution as husband and dad is even harder. And him being the best dad and husband is enough mother's day gift for me. So, I felt ashamed for thinking that I was unappreciated and undermined. If anything, it was me who has undermined the father of E. 

Anyhow, I had a wonderful lunch and time with my family. Being a mom is definitely not one person's job. I could not have done it without the help of our families. 💖

Lessons over Lent...

During the month of March, I picked up a few precious lessons from my QT...

1) Leviticus 24-25

The Lord commanded the Israelites to work the land but let it rest in the 7th year. In 25:6, He says that they could eat whatever the land produced on that Sabbath year. So even in the season of rest for the land, it was still fruitful and God provided for His people. 

I have been worrying about Geneva, mainly because I would have to stop work. I was worried of being "de-skilled", worried that I have to struggle a lot to get back all that I have achieved up to now, worried of being jobless when I return... These were the things holding me back from embracing this adventure. After reading the above, I felt peace. Maybe it was time to let my land rest, and see God provide for me, and realise that He is enough.

2) Numbers 11-13

The report of the spies going to the land God wanted to give them. Only Joshua and Caleb returned confident and unafraid, sure that God would help them conquer it.

At that time, M and I were planning a recce trip to Geneva. My heart was still swimming in doubt and worried about moving to a totally new place. But reading this made me think if I could have the same eyes and faith as Joshua and Caleb? 

3) Luke 1:26-56
Mary's attitude, when the angel brought her the message, was what I need. She did not care what others thought about her (unwedded mother, etc) or the consequences she may face (Joseph calling off the marriage etc). She immediately obeyed.

If this is God's assignment for me, in this season, I need to embrace it with same enthusiasm Mary did. It's a time to serve M and E, to rely on God and a great opportunity to walk closer with Him and experience change.

4) Numbers 28:16-29:40
These parts can get a bit mundane reading as they write out the many feasts and holidays the Israelites had to observe. However, I came to realise that time away from their routine was seen as giving God their dedication.

So, maybe, Geneva is the same for me... Time to come back, time to reflect, time to change and experience new things...

Adventure is out there!

So concludes our ‘business trip’ as M calls it... we went to explore Geneva and the possible neighbourhoods we might want to stay. And we met a lot of Singaporeans who gave helpful advice. Found a potential playmate for E also! It was a short 3 days and I must say I felt worried initially. I could not feel the same faith Caleb and Joshua had when they went to spy the land. However, after listening to the other ladies tell their stories, I am convinced that the decision could be harder to make. There are many other things to look forward to also- 4 Seasons, quiet life... it’s gonna be an adventure! I find myself looking forward to it 😊

The thing about Mr E...

Being able to watch E grow is one of the greatest blessings. He is at such a beautiful age now and i know i will miss all his antics and quirks.

Things i always want to remember:
- how each time he comes with my dad to pick me from the station after work and go 'SURPRISE MAMA!! How are you?'
- how he asks me 'mama are you ok?' when i put my eye drops or 'mama are you sick? are you better?' when i am having a flu
- how he includes his surname when he is talking about himself
- when he gives thanks or prays

These are just some of things that make him so cute. Wish he could be this little always...

Le premier post!

It feels weird writing a post, considering that i am a very private and introverted person. I stopped using FB a long time ago and i don't have any other social media also. I started joking about being a blogger when we knew we were very likely going to move to Geneva. But after meeting a mentor, who went through similar experiences, and is still maintaining a blog now, i felt inspired to do the same. And so here we are!

I think it's going to be good, for me and for the loved ones... Just so we can keep up with each other, and i can share my thoughts and lessons, esp if we are not going to be able to meet or talk often. 😢 Life is too short, we should connect more... If not, the days are just going to pass us by.

We are still waiting for Geneva to confirm the move. M and i will be going by over our anniversary- he says i should check the place out once before i actually move there and have to handle E at the same time. There are so many things to be done and we have no clue where to start. So we are praying for wisdom and patience. It's scary but exciting. And we are really stepping out of the boat for this one. But i look forward to the changes it will bring in me, the precious spiritual lessons and transformations to come.

Lord, lead us, as you led the Israelites with a cloud by day, and a pillar of fire by night...