COVID can't steal Christmas!

The month is flying by... This year, we got ourselves advent calendars for entertainment. Never heard of them before we came to Geneva. Then last Christmas, we saw these cute little things that help to count down to Christmas but it was too late then. So this year we got some and i think we overdid it a little. 😂 It seemed like yesterday we opened Day 1... It's now Day 22. 

  It was fun doing them together with E. It was our family bonding activity every evening.

Next week, it'll be new year. However, this month I've already started to try and figure out what's happened this year and where i am spiritually. The start of the month brought some turmoil as i struggled to believe that God was really enough for me. However, God has not left me to deal with the deceitful feelings of my heart alone. Thankfully, in His great love and mercy, before i acknowledged i needed Him, He gave Jesus to save me (Eph 2:4-5). My heart will still ache at unanswered prayers and i am struggling from time to time to believe He is enough. Yet, to know that He knows how much i struggle and yet still loves me... 

Christmas is way quieter than it was last year. However, COVID ain't taking Christmas away because it can't take Jesus away. In a way, i'm thankful for COVID stealing away what Christmas is not supposed to be about- parties, christmas markets, etc.

Amazing puff pastry!!

The last few weeks i suddenly had some rush of inspiration again! With puff pastry. 

Mille feuille

Fruit puff

Char Siu Soh

Puff pastry is the best!! I'm so going to miss it when i go home... 

December and the Christmas tree

 Yesterday was the start of December. It's scary thinking of how time flies. I know i've said it many times but i still feel compelled to say it again. Last weekend, we went to get our real Christmas tree and spent the day decorating it. When we were at the shop, i reminisced about how i was so reluctant to get a real tree last year since we never had one before- how we were gonna keep it alive for a month, if it would attract some bugs into the house, how to dispose the tree blah blah... This year, i was really excited. I'm a convert. Plus i told M, it's our last Geneva Christmas so let's go all out. Then he looked at me and said "it may not be..." I glared at him. We are due for home next year and M has been talked to by bosses on each side about the end of posting. This has been on our nightly prayer list, that God would make straight the paths so that we don't have to go through the agony of deciding what to do. 

Anyhow, the tree was put up and we had so much fun decorating it! E was particularly well behaved until sunday night... Actually it wasn't completely his fault. He was just being a kid. M was in the room attending cell group on Zoom. I was cooking dinner and E was playing on his own. He was really excited about the tree so he stood up on the Poang kids' armchair and pretended his reindeer soft toy was munching at the leaves. I was busy and my back was facing him. I could only hear him saying "Mama see the reindeer loves the leaves so he is eating all of it... crunch crunch crunch..."

And then DISASTER. THE TREE FELL OUT OF THE STAND. It's 1.85m, taller than me and pretty heavy. It came crashing down, shortly missing the dining table. I panicked because i knew M would flip. On hindsight, i was ashamed that i didn't thank God first that E wasn't hurt. I was just so mad with the kid. Poor thing, at first he laughed but he started to cry when he saw how mad i was. He got the vacuum and helped clear the fallen leaves. Thankfully too, the fragile glass ornaments fell on the carpet and nothing broke. They were all collected from our travels.

What was hilarious was how good he was for the rest of the night. He stayed away from the tree and M put the tree back and quickly returned to the Zoom meeting, promising to return at dinner and give E a good scolding. E was so worried and i told him that if remained good till dinner and let me cook in peace, i would put in a good word for him later when his father returned. He kept bugging me and telling me he heard footsteps and that Papa was coming (all imaginations of his mind). I almost went mad telling him not to freak out and that i will help him. This kid... so maddening and yet so lovable at the same time. 😖

Thanksgiving and my teenager

My thanksgiving for last week- God saved me from a near car accident. After dropping M at work, i was on the way home. I assumed i had the right of way going straight but a car from the side road was coming out pretty fast. I was thinking i should stop and let him go, but i had some body-brain disconnection when i was panicking. My foot was stuck on the accelerator. Half of me thinking i had to stop, half of me thinking i had the right of way. 😱😱😱

Good thing he stopped and i passed. He was almost into the right side of the car. He horned me so badly. I deserved it. I froze in the car thinking of what could have been if he had not stopped. It scares me. God's grace is immeasurable. Whenever i think of how i'm living on borrowed time, i'm not upset when disruptions come or when i don't feel efficient. It's a reminder of how I should be living everyday. It's my daily battle but this wake up call helped me get into perspective again.

It helped me also be more patient with my teenager 😆. I can't understand this boy... He got a smack on his bottom for throwing a tantrum and he asks me defiantly "i am your child so why do you beat me?"??! Madness. I had no answer for that. All i could think of was how i never asked my mom this question so how does this guy come up with this?? Yesterday he asked me what was for lunch and i told him "spinach mushroom quesadillas". His reply was "why we always eat that?"..... 😕 teenager in a toddler's body. 

Finding contentment

 Recent unanswered prayers have really tested if I could do what Habakkuk says- rejoice when everything is barren. Can I really say, like Paul, "...for I have learnt to be content whatever the circumstances" (Phil 4: 11)? Indeed, my joy had been based on external circumstances. I could not smile or feel content. It is a especially hard week. God really has a way of exposing our weak foundations. I need to rebuild my house on the solid rock. 

The COVID cases here are rising still and death rates going up now too. Some of our SG friends are returning. We will be stuck at home for awhile so book depository has been our great go-to. Can't wait for the parcels to arrive, they bring such joy in this dreary season. Haha.... Superficial joy, again!! When will I ever learn... I need to stand on solid ground.

Updates...

The last few weeks have been crazy. I've been so tired and kept putting off writing an entry.

M had this toothache that began on one side and would not go away. He was on painkillers like sweets! So eventually, he reluctantly went to the dentist. He was happy that the tooth didn't crack and the pain was caused by 2 cavities. Then the other side started aching too and he went to see another dentist who told him it was gum infection?! I didn't think a gum infection could cause so much pain. He came back from the second visit and got severe vertigo for the whole afternoon. I think it's vestibular neuritis but i cannot link like how it was right after he got back from the dentist. Really thank God it resolved the next day. I was so afraid that i might have had to drive him to see a doctor at hospital.

On the home front, my baking madness resumes... Cream puffs, eclairs and macarons! 😄 The eclairs were a flop so i have no pictures of it.

Macarons are so hard but i keep wanting to try them again. Thankful for neighbors and friends to help share the sugar... 

The virus situation is escalating here. I'm thankful that school isn't closing. It is a bit scary thinking how Geneva is one of the worse cantons. However, God has been watching over us so we just need to keep trusting. 

I am encouraged by Habakkuk 3:17-19:

"Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vine, though the olive crops fail and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen or cattle in the stalls, yet i will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my strength; He makes my feet like the feet of the deer, He enables me to tread on the heights."

Because He loves you...

The parenting struggle continues... But, i am not defeated yet. This passage really uplifted me and made me see that i was not resting in my vertical identity (a child of God, and deeply loved) and i believe it pertains not just to parenting, but to every other thing/area in life we have tried to seek identity in apart from who we are in God.

" As a Christian parent, no matter what is happening with your kids, you can wake up in the morning and know that you are deeply and faithfully loved by the most important person in the universe. Because God loves you, He has not left you to your own wisdom, strength and resources. Because He loves you, He will never forsake you in your parenting struggle. Because He loves you, He has connected you to things that are vastly bigger than you. Because He loves you, He not only forgives you, but He also gives you the grace to do better. Because He loves you, He works daily to grow and change you so you are better able to do what He's called you to do. Because He loves you, He works to satisfy your heart and fill you with joy that doesn't depend on circumstances. He loves you so much that He has come to live inside you. He doesn't just make promises to you; He is present with you in all His power, grace, and glory so that you can have a peace of heart, purpose and direction, and courage to face your parenting day."

Parenting, by Paul David Tripp

Much needed grace

 Getting E to go back to school has not been easy. The first 2 mornings involved much tears and struggles. Just to get him out of bed and to school drains me of every ounce of energy. However, that's not the end. Getting home after school is when the real pain begins. Crying and wanting to be carried all the way up from the carpark to the home, and then to lunch. At 3.5 years old, i can't carry him like i used to. He would protest all the way - changing out to home clothes, taking a wee, washing his hands and sitting down to eat. It got particularly bad on tuesday- we had this crazy yelling match. It was the first day of my period, to top it all off. It went on for 20 mins and took 5 buttock smackers to conclude. Pure madness. When he finally recovered, I was angry, yet guilty and sorry at the same time. That clash of self-righteousness and unworthiness...

I started reading this book by Paul David Tripp on "Parenting: 14 gospel principles". I think it's an understatement to say that i need it. Anyhow, i found encouragement within the first few chapters to share. I do believe that God uses marriage and parenting to reveal our hearts to us. The challenges of the last 1 year have shown me that. The good news is that "If you read your Bible carefully, you will understand that God doesn't call able people to do important things. Abraham wasn't able. Moses wasn't able. Gideon wasn't able. David wasn't able." "It (the Bible) is the story of how God meets weak and failing people with His powerful grace." (Quotes taken from the book)

Thankful for His grace, for second chances, and that God would not have engaged in a yelling match like i did (even if i deserved worse than that)...

Goodbye summer...

M took last week off and we made a small trip to Zermatt (finally!!) and back to Lauterbrunnen. We had to make the best use of the last few weeks of summer!! We did short 1-2 hour hikes for 3 days consecutively. I can imagine why people never want to go home and how they just live for summers every year. Even though the sun is blazing hot, the mountain air and scenery is amazing. We were thankful too that E managed to walk most of the time. We just had to keep the chitchat going and pretend we were trains. 😆

We spent the last 2 nights in Lauterbrunnen, which we went already on the first trip. However, we rushed through then and missed the beauty of the waterfalls. This time, M booked a beautiful place with the balcony opening up to the view of the Stubbach falls. 😍 and i love the sounds of the funny cowbells tinkling as if we are in the Ricola commercial. 

The weather is turning cold and E just started school again yesterday. Time to work again!! Goodbye summer, we hope to see you again next year...

We're back!

 Time flies!! It's been a good home stay for us and celebrating my birthday. 😊 All the birthday treats i got from family and friends and being pampered. Really thank God for the opportunity to be home even for a short time. Managed to do most of the things i wanted to also despite having to take the Derm exam so late. We were due to return only on 9th August but we realised that the Swiss authorities decided to put SG up in their compulsory quarantine list from 8th August onwards. So when the announcement came out, we decided to cut short the stay and leave the next night. We got home on the 7th August. Phew!! 😌 The thought of another 10 days in the bedroom with E... NOOOO!!!

The last minute packing and rushing to get all the things i wanted to bring home was mad. However, seeing M nearly cry when he eat the ba-chang made it all worth it!

Day 9 and counting down...

E's number book is helping me count down our days in quarantine. Tomorrow i will go for my swab which hopefully is negative and then i can be released in 5 days. We have both been suffering some cabin fever and a little sick of the food- minus all the spicy food, the menu for both of us is essentially burgers + fries vs pasta vs fried chicken + rice.

However, thank God for this comfortable prison stay. For the families and friends who bring alternate meals to help us. For the time i get to be with E alone, yes, even the crazy times and every morning and night that we get to snuggle next to each other in bed. For not having to do housework or cook. For rest, times of thoughtfulness and reflection.

Quarantine

All our Singaporean friends in Geneva do not want to come home because of this. No one wants to be trapped in a room with their kid. Why did i do it?? I cannot say. Hopefully the reward will be worth the price i am now paying. 😅

We are still fighting jet lag. E has alot of trouble waking in the mornings and falling asleep at night. Today, he refused his nap. I hope that means he will sleep more easily later. Me, i am chronically tired. Lol...

I think the real challenge is keeping him gainfully occupied and out of trouble, without resorting to the use of ipad/netflix so much. Do keep me in prayer! I think being in Geneva the last one year is probably helping me cope better though.

Seeing people outside and remarking on how they all wear masks

Lucerne -> Zurich -> SINGAPORE!

The last few weeks have been crazy busy. After deciding that i will return alone with E to SG, i had to make plans to make the housekeeping easy for M for the next 2 months. On top of that, we decided to holiday together in Lucerne and Zurich before we returned. M had lots of leave which he cannot utilize to come back with us and also since it's on the way (there aren't flights to Zurich from Geneva).

So i racked my brains to use up all the frozen meats in the last week, cleaned the floor and toilets, changed the bed sheets, made a dos-and-don'ts list for M. Then there was the packing. Yup, so it was mad. Thinking back, now that i am trapped in this hotel room with nothing to do but make sure E stays out of trouble, i'm having a bit of adjustment disorder. 😧

Anyhow, i enjoyed our 1 week holiday very much. There were so many little blessings from God that i had to write them down, lest i forget. For starters, we had to book many of the tickets in advance. Like the Zurich zoo, Swiss Vapeur Parc, etc. This is in light of restricted number of guests post COVID. So we booked whatever we could and take chances with the rest. It was supposed to be a mostly rainy week with occasional sunny days in between. However, we could not have known when we booked so we just bit the bullet and booked whatever attractions allowed advanced booking. Those days had wonderful sunny weather and E enjoyed himself tremendously.

Then we shopped at Manor and i decided to buy M his early bday present. He has been asking for a pasta maker and i saw a highly recommended brand so i got it, thinking it will be fun to do something to entertain himself while E and i were in SG for the next 2 months. Also because of COVID, most cashiers prefer card payment to avoid touching cash from customers. I had been telling myself one of these days i was bound to leave my card behind at some shop because i keep forgetting to remove it from the terminal after keying the PIN. And it happened. We got dinner and was about to leave the mall when something prompted me to check for my card. I panicked and ran all the way back to Manor and thank God, it was there.

Driving in Zurich was a nightmare. The traffic is horrible. The day we went to the zoo, we were stuck in a jam for a long time and when we got there, M was flustered and irritable. So when we saw a long snaking queue for the zoo entry from our car, our hearts sank. However, we met a really nice man (also going to the zoo with his kids) who directed us to a parking lot and taught us to pay ticket using our phone (also because we did not have any coins!).

These little blessings from God really made our holiday nice.

Swiss Vapeur Parc

Lake Lucerne

Mount Pilatus

Lindenhof - famous site that appeared in the K drama Crash Landing, M was super excited 😒

Date night! Yes!!

Recently, our marriage counselors from church got in touch with us again and they asked us if we had been on a date. We laughed because we were thinking there was no way we could get a babysitter (esp a Swiss one!) and leave E safely. However, our opportunity came when we were having dinner with our Singaporean neighbors cum church friends. They have a little girl same age as E and stays opposite block from us. They happily agreed to watch him while we go out for a dinner. So we finally did it!! We went out for dinner in town and had some seriously good jap food. 😋 Surprisingly, E did not mind going to their place and staying on his own! It was great! We all had fun. Really thankful for the friends God brought us.

Summer!

The weather is warming up alot. M decided to up his gardening game and now the balcony is so full of his projects- sunflowers, lavenders, random flowers and strawberries!

E really enjoys helping out, especially watering and harvesting his strawberries- maybe 2 every 3 days. 😂 they taste not too bad actually! It's also nice to sit outside and read. We went to the lake today and it was crazy crowded - all the half naked people getting a tan. And the BBQ-ing... I told M it reminded me of ECP on weekends.

It was quite fun until E announced he needed to pee. 😖😱 There's hardly a toilet around. So we made him wear a pull-up we brought in the bag and told him to pee in it. Earlier in the week, he horrified me by telling me that he had to pee halfway during his walk (school hours) and his teacher brought him to a grass patch to do it. Right after he said this, another parent from the school sent me a text and said her daughter reported that "E shee-shee at the tree today". I could die of embarrassment! M laughed and laughed. 😫

Tried my hand at bread again, made the paparoti buns! The coffee taste wasn't strong enough but the texture of the bread was a success. I think i got the hang of kneading! At the expense of being woken up from muscle pains in the kneading arm that night! 😜 I'm keen to try another bread recipe this week again.

More updates

With E in school the last 2 weeks, it's been more peaceful and quiet at home. I feel more eager to teach him in the afternoons too. He's been quite good too, to his credit. He shocked me several times this week by cleaning up his room when i told him too. He's really growing up!

Anyways, after much consideration, we decided to bite the bullet and book tickets home for E and me. I'll have to endure 2 weeks of quarantine to get 5 weeks at home. I won't be able to do everything i want to do when i go back, plus there is an exam end of July, but it's ok. I know God has His reasons. I'm thankful.

M heads back to work tomorrow. I will miss his company at home. 😔

Updates... school starts tomorrow!!!

So goes the 8th week of lockdown... tomorrow is the first day at school!! Glad that E can go back for now, i really need a break. 😫 I'm a little worried there may be a surge but this season has really taught me that only God has it in control, worrying won't change anything. Still, i struggle with these flesh-ly things.

In the last 2 months, we managed to get him off diapers!! 😁 i am looking forward to announcing that to his school teacher tomorrow. Thanks be to God too, E did not give us a hard time.

The last few weeks being trapped at home with has made me burst many times (usually with E and when I have to teach him). I've gone through periods of feeling frustrated, angry, then completely wasted and guilt and sadness. There were a few ups but i was wondering how come i'm becoming more down than up. I don't understand myself especially when i cannot see enough reason to feel the way i do. However, i found some comfort when i read "The Common, Hard Things" from keepingheart blog. She talks of the story of Jesus being worried that the crowd that had been with Him for 3 days with nothing to eat would faint on the way home (Matthew 15). He, who fasted 40 days, was concerned for people who did not eat for 3 days. Jesus, who experienced our human weaknesses, did not expect us to be like Him. I felt comforted thinking about how He does not compare us to Him and He has compassion on our weaknesses.

The competition

 It was our wedding anniversary last weekend and we decided we will each plan a special dinner to impress the other person. M would take Saturday night and i, Sunday. Sad to say when i saw his menu, i admitted defeat straightaway. 😞

His carefully planned menu - classic creamy deviled eggs, homemade mushroom soup (from scratch!!), melon and prosciutto, lobster thermidor (?!!) and tiramisu.

This tiramisu was the best i have ever tasted, the secret being that M used double creme of Gruyere 😲

I was so stuffed. I can't believe i thought i was gonna win, being the main cook of the house. I really ate humble pie that night.

My fried chicken and mac & cheese (coz M wanted to eat the latter)

My sad mini cheesecake...

We had fun though, challenging each other. The Lord has been so good to us in the last 6 years of marriage, I pray we can continue to walk in His grace and goodness and grow together. 🍻

Cooking mania continues...

Cooking is really becoming my new hobby... a log of the stuff i made over the last few weeks!

curry puffs

mozarella patties

onion rings

madeleines

Palmiers

egg tarts

sticky buns

churros

Stop the world

As i read the streams of messages coming in each morning, I can't help but feel i could be doing something more. Awhile back, M was also thinking the same thing and wishing he was back home and i could not comprehend why. Now i do. I feel the same way. I'm hiding at home while others fight the war. This feeling that i could be more useful elsewhere that's giving me existential crisis.

Yet, this break, seems to be God's grace and mercy to me. There are lessons i need to learn and He's slowly teaching me. There's a reason, a time and a season. I need to trust even when i cannot see... He's making this Martha be more Mary-like (Luke 10).


Stop the World (Matthew West)

The TV is talking
The telephone's ringing
The lights are all on and the radio's screaming
A million distractions are stealing my heart from You

I'm tired and empty
This life is relentless
It weakens my knees and it breaks my defenses
It's wearing me down and i'm desperate to hear from You

Stop the world, i wanna get out
I need an escape away from this crowd
Just to hear You speak to me

I need to be still before i make a move
And i need to be humble with nothing to prove
And i need Your word to show me the truth
I need time, precious time

Stop the world, i wanna get out
I need an escape away from this crowd
Just to hear You speak to me

Stop the world, I'm ready to listen
Show me a sign, give me a vision of Heaven
That i can hold on to...

Interruptions

Today ends week 1 of home prison... Week 1 of 5, for now. It's been crazy. Day after day, it's bad news after bad news. The lockdown rules get stricter, the numbers are still rising, HCW are dying, borders closing... Our home has been both M's office and E's school. The first 2 days seemed fun. I kept joking that M must be enjoying working at home with lunch, teabreak provided, a nice balcony where he can take breaks and do his gardening, a bed to take short naps with etc.

Little did i know, he was getting frustrated being enclosed in the dark guest room (to hide from E) and no colleagues to talk to. I was also getting really tired and frustrated dealing with E the whole day long, his incessant requests to go downstairs and play, on top of having less me time (to catch up with study and reflect). The bad news also continues, Qatar cancels my MIL's trip next month, my exams are going to be postponed... So by Friday, everyone was tensed and snappy. E lost my highlighter pen cover and that small thing sent me into a torrent of tears (like the straw that broke the camel's back). Cabin fever is so real!!! 😱 That afternoon, M sat me down and we talked about this and decided that in this new normal, we need to be more mindful of each other's feelings and endeavor to love better.

I found encouragement in this quote by C.S Lewis "The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of one's 'own', or 'real' life. The truth is of course that what one calls the interruptions are precisely one's real life- the life God is sending one day by day: what one calls 'real life' is a phantom of one's own imagination."

Indeed, Prov 19:21 puts this craziness into perspective "Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand." Now, i don't know when we can go back to normal, if and when we will even get a chance to go back to SG like we planned. However, i pray i may trust the Lord's heart and unfailing love. This is season for faith to grow.

What the virus did...

Awhile ago, i had many people telling me how lucky i was to be in Switzerland during the Coronavirus outbreak in SG... Now, the tables have turned... We are far from home, in a place where the upper management of the pandemic is questionable. This week, i was hit again and again with little waves of panic and fear. Many mummy friends texting me, each one slowly withdrawing their kids from school, panic buying, talking of returning home and leaving their spouses behind... It felt like one of those zombie apocalypse. I found myself distracted with the same worries and fears. I was worried we did not have masks or sanitizers, worried about racialism, etc.. I was even thinking about buying a second freezer to stock up food. This time, i really had to strengthen myself in the Lord!!

One of my devotional readings this week talked about Zechariah and Elizabeth. What really encouraged me was this, "When we pray, God hears more than we say, answers more than we ask, gives more than we imagine - in His own time and way." I need to pray with ceasing (1 Thess 5:17). It may be a good thing i have no sanitizer or extra fridge, then i won't rely on it to keep me safe. Now, i only have God.

Last weekend we took off on a short trip for the weekend to tick of one of our "to-do travelling" list. The virus had reached here but we went ahead anyways because we had already booked our stay and train tickets etc. God has been so good in keeping us safe. We had so much fun, made memories together and got back in a piece. Few days after we returned, the attractions we went to all closed down due to the pandemic. We may not be able to finish our list due to the pandemic. However, this latest trip will remain a testimony of God's grace to me. 🌈

Message from the cave...

M has been having quite a difficult time at work. Everything seems to be going wrong and there's no help. When I see him struggle, sometimes I really wish we were back home in SG. Although life is good here for me, it makes me really helpless and frustrated when I can't help him. So while finding for a word to encourage him, I came back to my favourite book "If you want to walk on water, You've got to get out of the boat" by John Ortberg.

He explains that all of us, at some point, end up in a cave. "The cave is where you end up when your props, supports, and crutches get stripped away. The cave is where you find yourself when you thought you were going to do great things, have a great family, or boldly go where no one had gone before, and it becomes clear that things will not work out as you dreamed. Perhaps you are in a cave because of foolish choices. Perhaps it is a result of circumstances you could not even control. Most likely it is a combination of the two." Sometimes coming to Geneva does feel like this, esp when work for M is going hay wire.

David ended up in this cave (cave of Adullam). On the run from Saul, he spent quite some time stuck there. He also got stuck with all the down and out crowd. 1 Sam 22:2 "All those who were in distress or in debt or discontented gathered around him, and he became their leader." . To make things worse, one day, they returned home to find that their wives and children had been carried off. At this point, things could not have been worse for David, he was in danger because the others in the team were talking of stoning him. However, 1 Sam 30:6 says "But David strengthened himself in the Lord his God." John Ortberg explains- "But when I come to know in the marrow of my bones that I am just as valued and loved by God when I have fallen flat on my face, then I am gripped by a love stronger than success or failure.".

"Sometimes you are in a cave, and no human action is able to get you out. There is something you can't fix, can't heal, or can't escape, and all you can do is trust God. Finding ultimate refuge in God means you become so immersed in His presence, so convinced of His goodness, so devoted to His lordship that you find even the cave is a perfectly safe place to be because He is there with you."

I pray I may be able to be like David and strengthen myself in the Lord when i'm stuck in the caves.

E turns 3 and the crazy school holidays

Last week was mad with E on holiday from school. 😵 Thankfully, the mummies' group from E's school were keen to organize playdates so we spent our first 3 mornings together. We tried out a place where we could leave the kids for CHF 6 per hour and it was great!! It was like the ludotheque, but better. We could actually have coffee uninterrupted together. A little worried at first leaving the 3 kiddos alone but we returned and found them laughing and being all crazy. Phew!!

One of the days, i invited 3 kids over to celebrate E's bday. I woke up at 6am to prepare the food- bacon and cheese pastry, chocolate cake, nuggets and pizza. I sealed the entrance to the bedrooms and put all the toys out in the living room so the ladies could have tea and keep an eye on the kids at the same time. I was prepared for the house to collapse in the hands of 4 kids. However,  it was fun and everyone liked the cake!! 😀 We had a great time and the i managed to clean up before M returned home from work.

My chocolate cake which i'm super proud of :)

I actually intended to make one of those layered cakes, which i have not done before. It looked easy on Pinterest. I was glad i did not try it for the actual party coz it turned out badly. 😅 The frosting did not go on the cake nicely and i had to use a piping bag to pipe it out. Plus, frosting is so sweet... after a few mouths, i was like 😣... Shall have to hunt for another recipe.

To E...

My dear E,

You are almost 3 now! You are growing too fast! I'm all tears thinking about how your childhood is slipping by... my heart is filled with joy watching you grow, but also in sorrow as I think of how I fail you sometimes.

"You'll travel where my arms won't reach
As the road will rise to lead your feet
On a journey of your own.
May my mistakes not hinder you
But His grace remain and guide you through;
This is my prayer for you."

(A Mother's Prayer, Keith and Kristyn Getty)

Grenoble

2 weekends back, M and i decided to go Grenoble to take a look. It's a city in France, famous for the museums and bubble cable cars. Plus, it's off peak season too so the night in an Ibis budget hotel cost below 60 euros for the 3 of us! 👍

We drove there and started the trip with lunch along Quai Pierriere. There is a whole string of pizzerias and we were spoilt for choice!! We were so looking forward to taking the famous cable car up to the bastille. Unfortunately, it was closed 😭. We were super disappointed as E would have enjoyed himself so much. Oh well, guess that means we gotta go back! 😁 #excusestotravel

So we spent the afternoon in 2 museums - Resistance museum and Natural History museum. Then we went to see the market place at Halles Ste-Claire. By the afternoon, half the market was closed so we left in like 10 minutes. Then we went shopping and bought stuff for the home and clothes for E 😍. #postchristmassale

We saw online a recommendation for a restaurant called L'Ardoise and went there once it opened for dinner. It was fully booked but the man said if we could finish by 8.30 pm, he would give us a table! Yay!! Food from the set menu was so good and affordable, i was stuffed!!

We spent the night at the budget hotel and E was super happy when he saw the double decker bed. He's been telling us how he wants a double decker bed (because he saw that in Peppa pig 😒). He slept on the upper deck on his own the whole night!

The next day, we tried to drive up to the Bastille but we only got to the back of it. The view was amazing. E was happily snapping photos with my phone. We went to see the archaeological museum and i have to say it's very good!! I love museums that are well thought out- can be finished in an hour and yet still super informative.

Went back after lunch as it's a 2.5 hour drive back. M decided we will have KFC for dinner since we will be near one on our way back. I realised that i have not eaten KFC for 4 months!! 😮 I didn't even crave it! Actually when it is our of sight/smell, it is out of mind too!

Quai Pierriere

View from the top, near Bastille

Archaelogical museum

KFC!! 😋

Baking!!

Now that there's an oven at home, why don't i try my hand at baking?? I bought a cheap handheld mixer and i've been looking at Pinterest. Baking is fun and i really want to get an oven when i go home. Here's some of the stuff we made (i let E do some decorations and tasting 😝)

Cornflake crunchies that turned out more like cookies :(

Marble cake :)

Concluding remarks (for 2019)

Time really flies, it's almost 2020. M is having a long weekend so he only goes back to work on the 2nd of Jan. He has been asking me since last week if we should go to one of the ski places and take E tobogganing. I was not so keen since i've not done it before and i don't like crowded places. I had no real reason to say no otherwise. It was just me, introverted, lazy and liking stability (i.e. change-hater). Anyhow, i went without much hopes that i will be having fun. I was kinda telling myself that we should be able to leave after lunch since E needs to nap and all.

I was so wrong! We went to Mijoux, an hour's drive away. We found a slope where kids and adults were tobogganing and having fun. So we joined in with a cheap glider we got from the sports shop. It was fun! But only for one rider each time. The toboggans we had been looking at were expensive so we did not buy. However, M decided we should check the sports shop around Mijoux and we found it, for less than half the price of the ones we'd seen previously. So we got one and it was a good fun!! E is alot like me, it's hard to get him to try new activities. It took him awhile to enjoy tobogganing but i think he did in the end. 😅

As i looked back on all the shots today, and thought about what fun i'd missed if i hadn't agreed to go, it felt so familiar. I felt like this many times in 2019. It's been surreal. Moving to Geneva, finding a home here, getting our first car, travelling to places, staying at home to be a mom... 2019 was a year of many new experiences for M and i. Experiences which i would have not had if i were left alone to make them myself. On my own, i would have chosen to stay put. These experiences brought about alot of fear, anxiety and tears. However, they also inspired greater faith, prayer, bonding and many moments of joy and thankfulness.

We went to watch night service yesterday. Our pastor shared about "Certainties in an uncertain future". He likened life to driving a car. As the driver, we have to look forward to get to our destination. We cannot keep our eyes on the rear view mirror (i.e. live in the past- whether failures or glories). However, the rear view mirror is still important because in the rear view glance, we see 3 things. He used the story of Moses leading the Israelites through the desert, one of the stories that really resounded with many experiences i had in 2019. The rear view mirror glance showed:
1. DELIVERANCE (from the Egyptians), 2.GUIDANCE (through the desert), 3. NEVER A LACK (their clothes and shoes never wore out, they had manna and water).

Even though life holds uncertainties, my rear view mirror in the last 6 months showed me that God is always enough.